happiness?

I am sorry for taking so long to write again this time.

너무 바빠서 죽을뻔 했어ㅜㅜ

aku lebih memilih untuk tidur dan istirahat ketika ada waktu luang karena akhir-akhir ini aku kurang sehat dan kurang istirahat. aku merasa mudah menyesuaikan diri dengan lingkungan baru. pun dengan lingkungan dan suasana baru yang sedang aku jalani saat ini. mungkin karena ini bukan yang pertama kalinya, jadi aku merasa badanku sudah terlatih dan merasa lebih adaptable dan flexible. jadi aku merasa datang ke jepang seperti layaknya kembali ke rumah. aku hanya perlu mengulang kembali semua yang pernah aku lakukan lima tahun yang lalu, hanya bedanya kali ini aku harus mengusahakan semuanya sendiri.

It takes time to make it come true. Moreover, it was worsened by coshit-nineteen.

Finally, I can return to Japan, not as a tourist but as a student. よかったねー

근데...너무 힘들어...

힘들지만 참아!!!

Although I only get a partial scholarship at a regular-not-so-special university, I make good friends with the faculty academic and the international affairs staff. Both of them are so nice, they help me a lot. I also got a nice Japanese family, who sometimes invite me for a short day trip with delicious food.

Unluckily, I got a shabby-dirty-smelly roommate in the dorm (sometimes I submit a complaint to the management office) and still has to cycle on slop road to get to university every day. I thought it would be better to have an apartment near the university, but the university dorm's rental fee is cheaper than any other apartment rental fee. お金まだないから、我慢 しないと

I expected there would be more discussion on the research's part because I am a master's student. でも、先生は英語が上手く話せないし、私だって日本語も苦手で、全然うまくいかなかった。I thought it was an international program, it is, but most of them are in Japanese. Even if I try to force myself to understand them by feeling........I still did not understand, they were using high-level Japanese (of course they are all native).

Then I have suddenly diagnosed with inflammation in my left lung; thanks to a regular health examination held by the campus health center, my lung bad condition could detected earlier. As soon as they got my health check result, the nurse contacted the faculty academic affairs staff, and the staff forward the message to my sensei. I got transferred to the bigger hospital for a detailed examination in the same day. The doctor was afraid that I will get a serious respiratory disease if I don't get proper earlier treatment, he advised me to undergo long-term treatment with (of course) expensive medical fees. 健康保険を持っているけど、結構高い...健康保険は本当に効くのかしら

Since my one-hundred-thousand-yen scholarship got canceled in September last year because of coshit-nineteen, in order to survive, I have to do a part-time job until I got a new replacement for my scholarship...

After applying for part-time jobs at three different supermarkets and three times being rejected, finally, I got a job in a super-busy-super-popular conveyor sushi restaurant in town... I have to work my butt off until midnight under the supervision of a strict store manager.

面接時に、店長に「平日は研究室に実験があるので、週末に働けます。時間はいつでも大丈夫です」と言った。I said to the store manager, I could work anytime on weekends...and guess, he made me work from 11 a.m. until 10 p.m.

なんだと！！！

その「いつでも」は私が一日中働くことができるという意味じゃないって........cry.

I also need a rest.

Did he think I was made of steel??????

Part-time work is more draining than research :(

He also made me work until the last shift (12 p.m.). Well, I don't mind cause he said he would raise my salary if I did it until the last shift, but then made me work until the last shift to clean up the kitchen....alone. Of course, there's another worker; usually, five-person will stay until last. But after the last order is finished, we're responsible for cleaning different pos, one person per pos, it means that everyone will busy to clean their pos and has no time to help others. 말이 안 되잖아ㅠㅠ

だから、てんちょーう、私はまだ初心者で、日本語を読んだり話したりすることはできないよ。What you are expecting from me, huh?

バイトはめっちゃ大変だよ。長い時間で立っていて、真夜中に家に帰て、睡眠不足になる。普通は、みんな平日が嫌いで、週末が好きでしょ。バイトがあるから、今平日より、週末が嫌い ><

でもしょうがないね。お金が必要から。

I often fell asleep in front of the wardrobe when I was ready to go to college (I felt like 'I closed my eyes for 5 minutes but it turned out to be 30 minutes), or fell asleep in the student room (my friend sit beside me ask, Nadia, why you sleep with your eyes open?) or in the middle of class (Sensei, I am sorry I was tired...).

But I promise myself that I won't complain.

Karena ini pilihanku.

Karena akulah yang memutuskan bahwa ini adalah jalanku.

文句を言わない、せっかく日本に来たからさ

Despite the fact that I am having a hard time, aku masih bisa menertawakan hidup dan nasib, menjadikannya lelucon untuk mengurangi efek tragedi di dalamnya.

私は褒められて伸びるタイプだ....

褒められるほど、頑張りたいと言う人

叱られると萎縮しちゃうと言う人

In summary, right now....

While doing my thesis research, I am recruited as a teaching assistant, too. Also, Sensei asked me to help her do her project (I will get paid, yeay). I am working at a so-popular sushi restaurant on weekends. And since I am having long-term treatment for my lung inflammation, every two weeks I have a regular health examination in the hospital and the day after that, I have to report my condition regularly to the campus health center.

I barely got sleep, and my joints are aches (I have to drink a cup of coffee in the morning or bought a 390ml bottle of coffee for a day to help me stay awake). I don't have enough time to play on social media (though I don't really on it) and watch the movie (sad). But I'm still on music so I brought new Bluetooth earbuds on Amazon (it's really more convenient than the wired earphones). And my Indonesian friends insisted to make me become the secretary of the forum.

But if you ask me, "do I happy now?" I will say yes, and I should say yes.

Yes, I do happy now.

I got a master's degree in Japan with a scholarship. With a nice research supervisor (I just heard a rumor among the students that my sensei is quite popular as a very nice, kind, and soft-hearted professor). Super-nice laboratories with their pieces of equipment. Friendly research-mates (sometimes we eat together, go to onsen.. and share a Netflix account haha).

幸せはずじゃない？このようなものってさ、誰も手に入れることができるわけじゃないわよ。だから、感謝しているよ私

자....

이제는 기나긴 모험을 시작할 시간이다

앞으로 더 행복해지려고...

힘들더라도 내 삶을 즐기려고 더 노력할게

더 나은 내가 되어 있을 테니 기대해 줘!

p.s.

Summer is approaching.

毎日晴れ過ぎて気温も風もだんだん熱くなれ。

天気ってさ、インドネシアより違う感じだと思う。ここにはもっと苦しい🤒🤒

날씨가 꽤 덥구먼 오늘같은 날에는 콩국수 한사발 들이키면 딱 좋겄네